hello, goodbye.
Monday, August 30, 2004
goodbyes and happy endings.
after all we've been through, i can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us.
that's ross to rachel as she's about to leave. i'm feeling this slightly obscure sense of sadness that friends is ending, and that it doesn't (or not at this point at any rate) look like it's going to be a terribly happy one.
then at this point it strikes me that perhaps that's the realest thing about this wonderful little comedy in the entire ten seasons. endings are exactly that - a full stop, a termination, even an invalidation of events that have come to pass. (that seems rather harsh. but oh well.) but yeah, that's kinda just what they are.
i remember something that a friend said a while back, and even though it sounded a little trite at the time, i agreed. it was something along the lines of treasuring what had passed for the shared experiences and that short period of joy that it brought me. and now, i don't think so anymore. now, i'm rather more inclined toward the forgetting. maybe these sudden realisations (my life seems to be filled with these recently, doesn't it.) should be tempered with a certain amount of understanding that the state of mind in which i acquire them isn't really wonderfully secure. but for now, the new observation stands.
ha. reading through this before i post, i thought i'd left all this behind. appears not.
that's ross to rachel as she's about to leave. i'm feeling this slightly obscure sense of sadness that friends is ending, and that it doesn't (or not at this point at any rate) look like it's going to be a terribly happy one.
then at this point it strikes me that perhaps that's the realest thing about this wonderful little comedy in the entire ten seasons. endings are exactly that - a full stop, a termination, even an invalidation of events that have come to pass. (that seems rather harsh. but oh well.) but yeah, that's kinda just what they are.
i remember something that a friend said a while back, and even though it sounded a little trite at the time, i agreed. it was something along the lines of treasuring what had passed for the shared experiences and that short period of joy that it brought me. and now, i don't think so anymore. now, i'm rather more inclined toward the forgetting. maybe these sudden realisations (my life seems to be filled with these recently, doesn't it.) should be tempered with a certain amount of understanding that the state of mind in which i acquire them isn't really wonderfully secure. but for now, the new observation stands.
ha. reading through this before i post, i thought i'd left all this behind. appears not.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
they -do- have a sense of humour.
my goodness. i really had to share this. trailer for malaysian idol. funny funny.
picture perfect.
for some reason i ended up on the website of the church i used to go to and whaddya know my picture is -still- there as a member of the sunday school team. and for some reason that infinitely cracked me up and i'm still a little giggly. that photo is about a year old and more than a little outdated and i really think they should update their site now. but at least cell has removed me from existence and even the blog i helped set up is unrecognisable now. that's one place that has its priorities right. encouraged amnesia over forced evangelism.
Friday, August 20, 2004
crashboombang.
that's a rather sad song by roxette by the way, for all you unwashed heathens who don't know. it also refers to the recent state of my computer. just when i was lamenting about my 900 over emails and how oh how i would ever be able to decide which ones to delete, the choice (as most choices seem to resolve themselves for me, i suddenly realise) is made for me, and my hard disk decides to whirr itself to a silent, grumpy little death.
goodbye to all that.
(-that- would refer to about 3 gigs of mp3s and around 800megs of bloodydigitalphotosnowiwishihadaconventionalfilmcameradamnit)
anyway. yes, i am back although there appears to be so very little to write about in my life i begin to wonder what actually -has- been going in. nothing, i suppose. that's rather sad. every day, minutes of nothing.
another sudden realisation. this of course might just be a tinge of paranoia setting in (or the bailey's i just had. i like bailey's.) but 4 months of not seeing a person on msn when school has already begun and said person is (or used to be) online 24/7 can mean only one thing: i have been blocked.
the joys of abrupt lucidity.
adieu to you, and you, and...well ok just the one.
goodbye to all that.
(-that- would refer to about 3 gigs of mp3s and around 800megs of bloodydigitalphotosnowiwishihadaconventionalfilmcameradamnit)
anyway. yes, i am back although there appears to be so very little to write about in my life i begin to wonder what actually -has- been going in. nothing, i suppose. that's rather sad. every day, minutes of nothing.
another sudden realisation. this of course might just be a tinge of paranoia setting in (or the bailey's i just had. i like bailey's.) but 4 months of not seeing a person on msn when school has already begun and said person is (or used to be) online 24/7 can mean only one thing: i have been blocked.
the joys of abrupt lucidity.
adieu to you, and you, and...well ok just the one.
Monday, August 02, 2004
ha. ahaha. ha.
strange conversation with jeth last night. very blackmailable. heh.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
hello dear
so easy how we come undone. says:
uh. hey baby.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
why the uh?
so easy how we come undone. says:
so fast, this.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
?
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
what is fast?
so easy how we come undone. says:
eh jeth ah
so easy how we come undone. says:
you...drugs? alcohol?
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
??
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
OH
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
wtf
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
yes, drugs i think
so easy how we come undone. says:
this is jared btw.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
wtf. lol.
no hard feelings, jiahui. but we were always meant to be. not to mention i saw him first. =)
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
hello dear
so easy how we come undone. says:
uh. hey baby.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
why the uh?
so easy how we come undone. says:
so fast, this.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
?
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
what is fast?
so easy how we come undone. says:
eh jeth ah
so easy how we come undone. says:
you...drugs? alcohol?
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
??
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
OH
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
wtf
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
yes, drugs i think
so easy how we come undone. says:
this is jared btw.
(flittering) a Puss in Boots! says:
wtf. lol.
no hard feelings, jiahui. but we were always meant to be. not to mention i saw him first. =)
birthday pics. karen and i. with her friend julia on left trying to hide. eh kar you're damn white leh. what happened man.
news this week.
insane babble ahead. skip next two paragraphs if you're not interested in nostalgia.
canoeing finals were on friday and a whole bunch of us went back to watch. i really miss those days, when we'd rush down after school to kallang. the feeling of reaching there and taking out those boats and gently placing them in the water. slicing through the water with the wind in your face, sun behind your back, and all your teammates and friends around you. your arms so dead tired that you can't possibly pull anymore, and with that BLOODY njc boat in front of you pulling away slowly, slowly, slowly. getting caught in the backwash and knowing that craft ahead of you will be ahead of you until you cross the finish line. and fighting till the last pull anyway.
and seeing those j2s with their hopes dashed once again, as ours were, and our juniors, and the years before us. the emotions running rampant across every face, some of joy, some of loss, some of bitter, bitter regret. and the j1s, watching on, apprehension in their faces at what they too would face in the year to come. and us, looking back at what we used to be, at what had mattered so much at the time to us, as it now meant to these people. and somehow, my friend and i sat there and looked at them, some crying, some quietly staring out across the bay, some others seemingly unaffected (for these the emotions would come later, when the customary chalet and accompanying alcohol would finally let all emotions loose, as we'd evidenced so many times before. these were the worst.), and we both knew that for us, two whole years ago, this was the last we'd ever felt so strongly for our sport. and the most poignant of all was that this would be the final time the 22 of us would ever gather together again and celebrate and mourn as a team. some would leave overseas to study, some to return home. others would just not feel the bond anymore, despite such hard years of fighting together. yet others would find new commitments in their lives, and at each gathering that we'd organise, fewer and fewer would come. and knowing that these people in front of us, now so united, would soon go through the same transition, just left a rather bitter feeling. i miss all of you guys, and i hope (rather hopeless i know) that one day, we'll all see each other again, and reminisce about those two years.
on another note. karen's birthday yesterday. glad to be 20, girl? hope you enjoyed yourself =) and sorry i crashed on the couch. heh.
will be gone to bangkok from thursday to monday so if you guys need anything just gimme a call. any requests for purchases from bangkok will be considered. leave msg here or sms me.
just played mahjong again just now. beginning to like the game, even though i'm awful at it. heh. and everyone starts school so soon! will count the days till my turn. around 370 more.
oh and my computer is beginning to get on my nerves. and lw's recent purchase of an ibook+ipod makes me Want. i Want. but i probably will not Get. therefore, i Sigh. Sigh.
geez i'm so full of crap. oh and after some calculation i ran a grand total of more than 40 km in the past two weeks. ouch.
aiyah such a fragmented post. grr. next time then. good night.
canoeing finals were on friday and a whole bunch of us went back to watch. i really miss those days, when we'd rush down after school to kallang. the feeling of reaching there and taking out those boats and gently placing them in the water. slicing through the water with the wind in your face, sun behind your back, and all your teammates and friends around you. your arms so dead tired that you can't possibly pull anymore, and with that BLOODY njc boat in front of you pulling away slowly, slowly, slowly. getting caught in the backwash and knowing that craft ahead of you will be ahead of you until you cross the finish line. and fighting till the last pull anyway.
and seeing those j2s with their hopes dashed once again, as ours were, and our juniors, and the years before us. the emotions running rampant across every face, some of joy, some of loss, some of bitter, bitter regret. and the j1s, watching on, apprehension in their faces at what they too would face in the year to come. and us, looking back at what we used to be, at what had mattered so much at the time to us, as it now meant to these people. and somehow, my friend and i sat there and looked at them, some crying, some quietly staring out across the bay, some others seemingly unaffected (for these the emotions would come later, when the customary chalet and accompanying alcohol would finally let all emotions loose, as we'd evidenced so many times before. these were the worst.), and we both knew that for us, two whole years ago, this was the last we'd ever felt so strongly for our sport. and the most poignant of all was that this would be the final time the 22 of us would ever gather together again and celebrate and mourn as a team. some would leave overseas to study, some to return home. others would just not feel the bond anymore, despite such hard years of fighting together. yet others would find new commitments in their lives, and at each gathering that we'd organise, fewer and fewer would come. and knowing that these people in front of us, now so united, would soon go through the same transition, just left a rather bitter feeling. i miss all of you guys, and i hope (rather hopeless i know) that one day, we'll all see each other again, and reminisce about those two years.
on another note. karen's birthday yesterday. glad to be 20, girl? hope you enjoyed yourself =) and sorry i crashed on the couch. heh.
will be gone to bangkok from thursday to monday so if you guys need anything just gimme a call. any requests for purchases from bangkok will be considered. leave msg here or sms me.
just played mahjong again just now. beginning to like the game, even though i'm awful at it. heh. and everyone starts school so soon! will count the days till my turn. around 370 more.
oh and my computer is beginning to get on my nerves. and lw's recent purchase of an ibook+ipod makes me Want. i Want. but i probably will not Get. therefore, i Sigh. Sigh.
geez i'm so full of crap. oh and after some calculation i ran a grand total of more than 40 km in the past two weeks. ouch.
aiyah such a fragmented post. grr. next time then. good night.
